Think Twice Before You Touch My Girl
by M14Mouse
Summary: Xander is about to learn a valuable lesson:  Don’t touch your best friend’s girlfriend.  Bad things will happen.  Chip and Vida pairing.


Think Twice Before You Touch My Girl

By: M14Mouse

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Summary: Xander is about to learn a valuable lesson: Don't touch your best friend's girlfriend. Bad things will happen. Vida/Chip pairing.

30kisses challenge: 4. Our distance and that person

Xander split out his coffee. Blah! What in the world in this coffee? The coffee couldn't be bad. He replaced it yesterday. Sugar can't go bad…can it? He picked up sugar and sprinkled a little bit on his finger. He licked his finger and made a face. Salt! Someone replaced the sugar with salt. Quickly, he glanced over at Vida and Chip. Those two would be the only ones to prank him. But he wondered why. He hasn't pissed off either of them lately.

He must have done something because the pranks were coming everyday. Petroleum jelly wiped on his favorite chair. He nearly burst his butt as he slipped right out of the chair onto the floor. His radio set to the chamber music station and he couldn't get it unstuck. His morpher hot glued to the table. Sugar switch with salt. He looked over at Vida who mess with a song on her equipment. Nothing came to mind. In fact, they were on pretty good terms. In fact, she was all cuddly during the whole Undonna thing. He looked over at Chip, who was reading a comic book. Well, he better find out what it is or something else will happen…like hair dye.

"Hey, Chip. I need some help in the stock room for a second," He said as he got up from his chair and headed for the back room. He leaned against the wall as he waited for Chip. Soon enough, there he was.

"Hey, Xander…what do you need?" Chip said as he closed the door behind him.

"Okay, mate…what's with the pranks? I know I didn't do anything…lately," He said. Chip gave him a confused look for a moment. Maybe, it was V.

"Beside, you were cuddling up with someone's girlfriend. Despite popular belief, I'm not dumb or blind," Chip said as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Hey, she started it! She seemed to be enjoying my shoulder. I'm not the type of guy to say no. I know you weren't blind…or dumb. You were having your ADD moment and….I just said the wrong thing. I'll shut up now…yup…zipping my mouth," He said.

Oh, crap….Chip looked more pissed off after he said that.

"I know that she started it. I already had a little chat with her," He said as his face turned red. Hehe…someone had make up sex. Quickly he went back to looking pissed again.

Damn….

"Now…it's your turn."

Double Damn.

"Listen…There is nothing wrong with a good cuddle. I mean…as long as it isn't with V. Vida is all yours. You can think of this way. I was your replacement. While you were busy, V thought I was a good replacement….And…uhh.."

He stepped back when Chip started giving him an evil look.

Why can't he keep his mouth shut?

"You're my replacement? How far does this replacement policy of yours go? Into her bed, perhaps?" He said very slowly and carefully.

Maybe, if he pleaded the fifth, he can get out this. Maybe, he should answer the question because Chip is getting really pissed off. Maybe, he should start running now.

"No…No…I have never thought of going into her bed. Nope…I haven't one single thought. Okay, maybe…two…three thoughts about it. But I'm a guy, Chip! I have the same thoughts about Maddie…and Leelee and every pretty girl that walks into the store. Just don't tell Maddie and Leelee, okay? They would kick my butt," He pleaded.

"At the moment, you have to worry about me," He said coolly.

He was afraid he would say that.

"But I'm not going to kick your butt, Xander. Despite what you did, you are still my friend. You still got to learn not to touch other people's girlfriends. My punishments are much more…subtle."

Why is he still here and not running?

"You like your hair? Brown is such a boring color…I was thinking neon green." Chip said as he reach up and pat his head.

"You like your car? I think it needs a new paint job."

"Those nice leather seats you brought last year? I know a couple of kids who could give them a new….shine."

"Your favorite chair? The local garbage dump would love it."

His mouth nearly dropped. Where did Chip learned to be this vindictive? Vida must be giving him lessons. He knew it was a bad idea for them together. They are starting to rub off on each other!

"And if you didn't learn your lesson…There are others things I can do. Much more dirty and just as evil things if you get my point," Chip said as he waved his hand below the belt.

Okay…maybe he should check for a magic spell now. Quickly, his head nodded.

"Nodding your head means you are only half-listening. I want an answer."

A flash of angry ran through him. Hell, he isn't five years old. He shouldn't tell him what to do. If Vida wanted to use him as a cuddle buddy, it was fine with him. He was about to open his mouth until he saw at Chip's face. His face was hard and cold but his eyes told him something else. Sure, there was angry but…jealousy. He never saw Chip jealous before about anything. He was fighting for V like he always has. This was different. It was about damn time Chip got a girlfriend. He sighed as he looked away.

"I'm sorry, mate. I have broken one of the rules of Man's Law. Never mess with a friend's girlfriend. I promise I won't do again," He said. Chip blinked in surprise then smiled.

"Thanks…I mean you can hug her and throw your arm over her shoulders and stuff like that. It just that…" Chip replied.

"I understand…I understand….Trust me, I understand. So…we are good?"

"We are good as long as you keep your happy thoughts about Vida and beds out of your mind."

"I will try...okay…okay…! I'll be good!" He said. He laughed when Chip threw him a dirty look. He smiled innocently as he threw his arms over Chip's shoulders. He removed his arms and headed for the door.

"Uh…huh…"

He opened the door and he stepped out of the stock room. Quickly, Chip followed out behind him.

"Uhh….Xander?"

"Yes?"

"Since when do we have a law?"

He stopped in his tracks and started to laugh.

"Oh, my friend…the things I can teach you."

Suddenly, Vida popped up in front of us. She reached over and grabbed Chip's arm.

"I'm going to borrow him…just for a minute…or so," Vida said with a smile. Her eyes looked over at Chip with one of those looks. Uh huh…a minute or so my butt.

"We are done." He said.

"Good." Vida said as she dragged Chip into the stock room. A few minutes later, he heard laughing noises and a lot of kissing noises going on in the stock room.

For a moment….Just maybe…Vida planned this.

Wait…Nahhh…..

End.

A/N: Many thanks for DJ Rocca for help with the title and the idea. Well, I hope you enjoy it. Read and Review if you wish.


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